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About this Book

We at ADVAS believe that books can be magical. They can help us to travel to faraway and imaginary places, they can teach us, give us perspective, and help us heal. Books can make us, and everyone we encounter, better.

We hope that you find this book useful. Read the words, bake the cookies, steep the tea, fold the corners of the pages, make notes in the margins and run highlighters across the text. We hope that this book gives you confidence in your ability to help someone.

This book covers some big topics including violence, death, and crime. We have kept our approach simple, and we know that these subjects might be hard to think about, especially in the context of people with whom you have relationships. If a section is challenging you, give yourself permission to pause and catch your breath.

This book will give you an understanding of what someone who has experienced crime, tragedy or loss might be feeling and how you can help them.

Because there are regular changes to the resources and services that are available in the community and how you can access them, we have not included any in this book.

If you are looking for a list of resources and services that are available to you and the people you care about, please visit ADVAS.ca.

If you or someone you know is at imminent risk of harm, please put this book down and call 911.

If you or someone you know who lives in Airdrie or Rockyview County, Alberta, has experienced crime, tragedy or loss and needs support, please connect with the team at ADVAS for support.

An important note about the language used in this book:

You will note that while we are the Airdrie and District Victims Assistance Society, we don’t use the word “victim” much in our writing. That’s because we find that, in many instances, the word victim is used as a descriptive term. That is to say, it becomes the main identity for the person you are talking about. We think that’s wrong, and after serving tens of thousands of people who have survived negative experiences – we know that others feel the same way, too.

We believe that it is most appropriate to be people first. A person can experience negative events and occurrences without losing their identity or their humanity.

If you have the opportunity in your life to recognize people first, please do so.

4 Warm Hugs, Hot Tea, Fresh Baked Cookies and The Subtle Art Of Helping