You may be tempted to “fix” the problem, but the person you are with needs you to hear what they are saying.
Try to paraphrase what you heard to make sure you understood and to show that you are paying attention.
Your goal is to understand and to support, not to provide your opinions or perspectives.
Consider the person’s feelings and put yourself in their shoes. Validate their feelings.
After listening to the person, allow a moment to pause and evaluate the conversation.
|TAKE YOUR TIME|
To be sure that you understand what is needed, wait until after the person has finished speaking before offering any feedback or advice.
|ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS|
Ask questions that respectfully encourage the person to share information that will be helpful for you as a helper.
|USE BODY LANGUAGE|
Face the other person, nod, and have an open and relaxed body position to show that you are engaged and interested.
TIPS TO HELP SHOW THAT YOU CARE AND CREATE EMOTIONAL SAFETY
Respect boundaries and consent
Boundaries can be physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, or financial.
Do it, don’t just say it
Actions speak louder than words.
Share your calm, and refuse to bring elevated emotions or arguments
If you find yourself feeling wound up, tell the person you need a break.
Appreciate the person
Tell the person that you appreciate them, and thank them for sharing with you.
Be honest with people, and tell them if you are struggling with something, too.
Practice Active Listening and be aware of your body language
Being present and available is crucial.